Archive for March 2014

Publicity/Celebrity Status   Leave a comment

I have realized a fatal truth, that the world is untrustworthy. That it is very hard to have friends who are trustable. People aren’t trustable very rarely due to nature of character, but to lack of care and incompetence.

Example 1:
I talked to a friend I had trusted with information regarding my personal views on my own college admissions/decisions. I had assumed this person would know that this is something I would like to keep on the down low, given my position as a somewhat celebrity at my school. Two days later, I was in the bathroom at a cross country meet, and when I heard one of my teammates, who is friends with my friend, relay what I had said to my friend, almost word for word, to another teammate. My mother has always told me, there are some things that you absolutely must not tell, unless you are okay with everyone knowing them, because it inevitably gets out. Rarely does this occur out of malicious intent; rather, by telling someone something, you are giving them the okay to transfer this information to others under circumstances that they deem relevant and necessary.

On the flip side, this makes me realize that I don’t treat my friend’s confidences as tight and close as I ought to, as I often relay such information to either people who are mutual friends who I believe ought to know/I accidentally give it away to someone I assumed knew already/I use this person as an example while trying to help another friend. And also that, as awful as this sounds (it’s healthy, I promise ^_^), that I can’t release any information of any importance to anyone, unless I am okay with everyone I know knowing it, okay with it getting mistranslated in transit (think Telephone), and okay with this information being publicized when I’m 50 and famous. 😛 Thus why this blog is now private, because there are several of my friends whom I have shared this with.

Example 2:

As a high school upperclassman, I was interested in having a great time at my prom. Being me, an equalist (not feminist) in practice, I had no problem asking my date to prom. I planned my promposal, enlisted some of my friends and some of his friends to help, and everything went swimmingly. And somehow, there has ended up being gossip in parent circles about how “I want him”. I’m not even entirely sure what that means. The interesting thing is that this originated, in some form or another, from his father. And I would expect that yes, he would tell his parents about someone asking him to prom, but it’s interesting what someone has said has turned into something unfamiliarly gossip-y, which I’m not a fan of. Even as someone that most people in my school district have heard of by name or description, I try to keep a low-profile and act as I choose to rather than really considering any sort of expectation or pressure in any part of my decision making (although sometimes it’s unfortunately necessary to keep up certain images).

 

Verdict: In general, people/friends end up not trustworthy because they aren’t capable enough, but because it’s hard to always keep things so close. Also, thinking about this has reminded me to be more vigilant both about what I release into the world, which in this day and age is immortal, and about how I care for my friends. And that I am much less willing to talk about things important to me when once they are released, they can never come back. On the one hand, I’d prefer to act and possess a public image exactly as I am, but unfortunately that is never possible, to have a public projection be an accurate representation of self, so for the time being I’d like to be a little more careful regarding both the image I keep and parts of me that become part of public knowledge. I have also come to the realization that anything I say or do must be considered from the standpoint of an outer eye looking in, and that I can’t just be who I want to be and live in a bubble where I ignore the potential repurcussions. The person I want to be, the understanding, wise, social leader and intellectually competent individual, that person will have to learn a little something about politics and perception.

 

Goodbye for the time being, Aderyn

Posted March 18, 2014 by aderyngrace in Uncategorized